Courage these days looks different than it used to…
Where it once was loud, it now stays silent. Where it once was proud, it now bows in humility. Where it once was seen, it now seeks solitude.
Courage has taken on a new posture in this season of life and the truth is, it’s a dance- one I’m learning the steps to, far too slowly for my former striving self.
I’m fumbling and stumbling my way through it.
And yet, each day, each week, each lesson, I find myself dancing this new courage by heart.
Devotion and Emotion. Movement and Breath:
The basic fundamentals that encapsul this new courage.
1. Devotion to God through the brave act of showing up
– of coming to him every day just to be with Him, no agenda. To hear from Him, to talk to Him and to read His word. Allowing this time to penetrate my heart and remake me every new morning, from the inside out.
Not in pursuit to “be better and do better”, but to receive, in my perpetual neediness and surmounting weakness- knowing and trusting that in my humanness surrendered, He is strong and mighty and most powerful.
2. Giving my Emotions to Jesus and Taking Authority over Lies
Instead of willing myself different, I’m learning to be brave enough to welcome my emotions in whatever form.
Be it anger or resentment or frustration or guilt or shame or panic, I’m inviting Jesus to walk parallel to those emotions, feeling His easy lightness alongside the dark heaviness.
Feeling both coexist in the same space- my heart- allowing His presence to fight for me, rather than trying to “fix myself.”
And when His Spirit nudges- when I recognize the lies for what they are – the lies taunting me with untruths about who I am or what I need to do–
I’m learning to courageously take my authority in Jesus and send them away… because for too long, I gave lies centre stage and an open mic night in my heart- free reign and an all access pass to harass me and my every thought.
But it stops here.
I will be brave enough to say, “no more”, because I am more: More than a conqueror. More than my mistakes. More than my weakness. More than my imperfections. More than my immaturity. More than my inability to meet others expectations and please every person in my life.
3. Movement as Worship.
For everything there is a season and this is my season to fly- to learn to fly, anyway. I am no longer a caterpillar in a cocoon, but a butterfly, entirely new in Christ Jesus.
After a season of physical rest- of trusting the good in non-movement– I am finding a new stride: dance to music in my living room, yoga on my patio, running outside in nature.
For a former exercise addict turned nothing-but-walking, these humble beginnings feel awkward and hard.
Every movement is a brave act of surrender and in humility, I’m trusting that with time, I will find my footing and my strength- a new strength, firmer and more grounded than my former self.
4. Breath as a life line- my connection in every moment to Love and Presence and Life.
Meditation and Centering Prayer and the simple act of intentional breathing.
To stop takes courage.
I’m learning that whatever it is, can wait, because in this moment, what I need more, is Him.
More than to get it done, more than to exercise my rights, more than to be heard or understood, to fix it or figure it out, what I need now is Jesus.
Breath has become my wordless prayer.
I’m still waiting for the gifts of tongues, but until then, when words fail me or I can’t articulate what I feel, I’m bravely allowing breath to bring me home – to usher me into God’s presence and his heart.
Devotion and Emotion. Movement and Breath…
All of this feels new and foreign and yet none of it is new or even foreign. They’re old truths and old practices. Ones that find homage in many homes and hearts and cultures and religions. And yet Im learning them with new intensity and intentionality.
I am a student of rest, learning to mother herself back to Love.
I’d love to know:
- How do you intentionally connect to Love?
- What rhythms of rest has God led you to implement?
- How has sabbath become a lifestyle rather than just a day?
- How is God teaching you to mother yourself to wholeness?
We’re in this together- sojourners on the pilgrimage to Christ.