Dear Jennifer Lawrence | Pornography isn’t “Normal”

Pornography makes me want to rage against the machine – The machine of culture that tells us Porn is normal and should be accepted.


…. That it isn’t the cause of heartache, pain or the warped identity of so many women.

…..That it doesn’t form addictive and destructive paths of desensitization in the brain 

…. That it’s irrelevant to rape culture, the abortion rate, sexual abuse, human trafficking or child molestation 

…. Or responsible for the lack of intimacy, bonding in marriage, not to mention the high divorce rate. 

Because it is in so many ways. 
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Porn threatens to ruin the divine purposes and integrity of the gift of sex and all God intended for it to be; because at it’s root, porn leads the individual to bond to the act of pleasure fulfilment over the individual.

It becomes an idol and the man (or woman) is subconsciously seeking fulfilment of a physical need or want, over a desire for their spouse or to be intimate; a wanting of sex more than the person. And it takes a miracle of healing by the Lord to rewire this way of thinking.

The rampant (and fairly unacknowledged) addiction of our society to pornography  is something that has affected me deeply, both in my teen years and in my adult life. It has brought me to the feet of Jesus over an over, for both healing and forgiveness.

It’s led me to a place of fighting for the sexual integrity of our youth, through volunteering with local organizations that go into high schools and talk to teens about sex, their worth and the state of our cultures dangerous addiction to sex.

Dear Jennifer Lawrence | Porn

Reading this article, I felt the familiar flame of holy justice rise inside me.

It’s closing statements deserve to be written on every heart, billboard, social media wall and shared in every home.


“Never accept porn as a normal part of any relationship. It is harmful material that addicts the brain, damages relationships, and pushes warped perceptions about sex and intimacy into society.

You should never be expected to do anything for fear of a partner turning to porn or think its normal for them to do so.

Real love is sexy. Anything else is a counterfeit.


I pray today that whatever your experience with pornography- whether single, dating or married- that God would reveal his heart to you on this topic and that you would have the courage to respond.



Quality over Quantity

As I pondered my New Year’s resolutions, the list kept building; including the usuals that tend to last a total of 48 hours, along with others that weigh heavy on my heart. From 3, came 5 and from 5 came 10.

As many know, I take resolutions quite seriously. Goals are my middle name and I’m one to stick to things ’till the job gets done… and well! (or mastered; whichever comes first) So, as I sat there staring at my pressing desires, I began to reflect on the heart of the matter. What did all these things have in common? 

Quality over Quantity

Whether its my personal life or my business, I tend to be gung ho! All in or nothing. I devour myself until Im chest deep in whatever it is Im doing. And while this is a wonderful asset, that lends to the over-achieving, persistent self starter that I am, it’s also, all consuming.

Let’s be frank…. “Balance” seems far from normal for this lady. 

So, as 2012 knocks on the door, I open, with favor for quality over quantity.


  •  I will choose to take on select projects that stir me from the inside, rather than every little thing that comes my way.
  •  I will focus on fewer projects at one time, to give each my absolute best and the extra attention each deserves, to fly and be fully appreciated/ savored.
  •  I will choose to supply quality content to my clients, rather than keeping up with the rat race, just to say I post 5 times a week.
  •  I will choose to focus on building select, strong networking relationships, with like minded professionals who share my values and passion. 
  •  I will choose efficiency over busy-ness.
  • I will choose to take breaks throughout the day and turn work off at 5…like the rest of the world. 
  • I will learn tomorrow comes quicker than I think, and leaving things until then, is OK!
  • I will choose slow, steady growth that can survive the times and favors longevity.
  • I will not be ashamed of my BIG DREAMS and will give myself what I need to achieve them 
  • I will not compare myself or my work to others and will instead, focus that attention of being the best ME I can be. 
  • I will not allow others hesitations, negativity or outlook, to affect my own heart, passion and dreams
  • I will choose vulnerability, openness and being raw: and not be ashamed if others don’t approve 


  • I will be intentional about setting date nights with my girlfriends and initiating mid-day coffee  breaks more frequently.
  • I will choose to be away from the computer, when my husband is home and wants to play “house”.
  • I will choose start my day with prayer, reflection and education, before emails, tweets and posts. 
  • I will choose to speak up about my faith, even when its uncomfortable and makes me feel like an outcast.
  • I will be OK with not working out, if I don’t have time for the 3rd day in a row and will NOT feel guilty about it. 
  • I will be OK with splurging on myself every now and again; I’m worth it! and the well won’t run dry because of one nice piece of clothing or one fancy dinner out.
  • I will choose my pumps over my boots ever now and again, to embrace the me I’ve known my whole life and deeply missed this past year.
  • I will set boundaries between people and things that have a negative impact on me; acknowledging their potential for long term hurt/ damage. 
  • I will put my family first: our needs are more important that always trying to keep peace or doing what others think I should or is “best”.
  • I will accept that there is no one model to be a Christian and will continue to carve my path and deepen my relationship with God (no matter how different it may look for others).
  • I will own the fact that I constantly change and evolve as a person. Some may deem that “re-invention,” I see it as “growth!”
  • I will embrace me and love her, flaws and all 

And finally, going back to where my journey all began…

“I will hold myself to a standard of Grace, rather than perfection!”  Emily Ley 

The “Jug” ornament.


Each year, we add an ornament to our tree.

We make a special effort, to set out on an annual festive date and along the way, select our new addition. Typically, we choose something from the actual place of our date and today was nothing less.

This year, my wonderful husband treated me to that which I adore most; afternoon high tea. We ventured to the Little White House, an ultra swoon worthy heritage building, containing both a boutique and a cafe parlor. I was in heaven!

The lunch was delectable (not to mention the signature tea and hand-made sweets), but what was even more memorable was our time together. To be perfectly honest, this Christmas season has been anything but relaxed and fun filled. We’ve been burning the wick at both ends, trying to keep our business strong and our commitments and responsibilities in order. This weekend, after having  both arrived home close to midnight, we flopped down on the couch and stared at the wall.

We felt tired, emotional, disconnected and some-what ba-hum-buggy. (so every unusual for us holiday lovers) And the usual fixes like christmas movies, carols and baking, just weren’t cutting it. When you’re mentally exhausted and the things that normally fill you up aren’t working, you know its time to step back. In these times, we tend to loose light of the beauty that’s around us and the blessings we’ve been given. We both knew what needed to come first for a day: us. 

It took nothing more than a few connected hours and all felt right in our world again. We recounted this {astronomical} past year, dreamed about the future and counted our blessings twice. Almost finishing each other’s sentences, we expressed how full our lives are;  an outpouring of God’s love, grace, compassion. The result is two lives, now one, wonderfully rich in blessings. So, to represent this outpouring, this years ornament is a pitcher or a jug. Ours is full and for that, we’ve so grateful.

It’s safe to say, we fell in love all over again.

“Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at your from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.” ~ James 1: 2-4


To be loved.


“The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

How wonderful it is to be loved!
Think about it for a second….

  • The mother with her new born baby.
  • The son seeing daddy in the stands.
  • The bride on her wedding day.
  • The grandma baking cookies with her grandkids.
  • The fallen with their hands up singing in worship.
  • The hugs from your best friend.
  • The “it’s ok” from mom.

And what do all these moments have in common? You know that you are loved! There’s a sense of belonging, of purpose and of safety. There’s a feeling of wholeness and of completion. And in those moments there Is joy: pure and content.

When we know we are loved, our souls are set on fire! We feel invincible, unafraid and ready to take on the world. We want to stand on tall places and sing the praises of love. And in that joy, we love others, unabashedly and whole heartedly. We want to give of ourselves, encourage and rejoice over others. How great is the world, when people act in love.

Some days its hard to remember but try to look around you. You are TRULY loved! By your family, your friends, the stranger you smiled at and a God: perfect and almighty.

So, do not fear. Do not be anxious. And do not live in hiding. Remember and Know that you are loved; fill your soul with that feeling and go out to share it with the world.