Perfectly Spent | When you’re done and have nothing left to give

It’s 6 o’clock and by all accounts I’m fried.

You still haven’t eaten dinner, despite my gallant efforts and I’m counting down the minutes until your dad gets home. Truth is, I’ve given up. I want him to feed you, then put you to bed, ’cause I’m tired and absolutely done. 

My tone is sharp and I don’t want it to be. I’m sorry. My patience is beyond mustering. I’m sorry. But the truth is, my love, momma is perfectly spent! 

For a split second, I’m tempted to begin the checklist of all the things I’ve done today, the majority for others and not for me. I’m tempted to give myself a solid dose of selfish praise then wallow in self pity.

I’m tempted to feel guilty and beat myself up, that yet again, I’ve barely made it to the end of my day before making it to the end of myself!

But for one brave second I stop.

But how else would I want it? To get to the end of my day perfectly relaxed, full of p**sing vinegar and raring to go?


I’m spent from spending myself well. 


I spent today loving you, from endless food patrol, diaper changes, giggle fits and story times; play ground trips and hide and seek and setting boundaries even when it hurt. 

I spent today sharing my gratitude to friends who show up and family that takes care, to God for his gifts and husbands who help. 

I spent today sharing others tears and hugging it out and talking about Jesus when they needed him most. 

I spent today praying bold prayers and begging for healing for me, my family, my friends and even theirs. 

I spent today using my gifts to worship The Lord and hopefully lead others to his heart with my story. 

I’m spent because I spent myself on the people and things that matter the most. I gave it my all and I didn’t hold back, so I shouldn’t be shocked when I’ve got nothing left.


So, as I throw my hands up and body just follows, I’m giving myself the only thing I’ve got left: grace. 

And His grace is sufficient for me. 

Whatever you do, work at it wholeheartedly as though you were doing it for the Lord and not merely for people. – Colossians 3:23


The “Jug” ornament.


Each year, we add an ornament to our tree.

We make a special effort, to set out on an annual festive date and along the way, select our new addition. Typically, we choose something from the actual place of our date and today was nothing less.

This year, my wonderful husband treated me to that which I adore most; afternoon high tea. We ventured to the Little White House, an ultra swoon worthy heritage building, containing both a boutique and a cafe parlor. I was in heaven!

The lunch was delectable (not to mention the signature tea and hand-made sweets), but what was even more memorable was our time together. To be perfectly honest, this Christmas season has been anything but relaxed and fun filled. We’ve been burning the wick at both ends, trying to keep our business strong and our commitments and responsibilities in order. This weekend, after having  both arrived home close to midnight, we flopped down on the couch and stared at the wall.

We felt tired, emotional, disconnected and some-what ba-hum-buggy. (so every unusual for us holiday lovers) And the usual fixes like christmas movies, carols and baking, just weren’t cutting it. When you’re mentally exhausted and the things that normally fill you up aren’t working, you know its time to step back. In these times, we tend to loose light of the beauty that’s around us and the blessings we’ve been given. We both knew what needed to come first for a day: us. 

It took nothing more than a few connected hours and all felt right in our world again. We recounted this {astronomical} past year, dreamed about the future and counted our blessings twice. Almost finishing each other’s sentences, we expressed how full our lives are;  an outpouring of God’s love, grace, compassion. The result is two lives, now one, wonderfully rich in blessings. So, to represent this outpouring, this years ornament is a pitcher or a jug. Ours is full and for that, we’ve so grateful.

It’s safe to say, we fell in love all over again.

“Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at your from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.” ~ James 1: 2-4


a Grateful Heart.

Thanksgiving has passed and I recount the many wonderful memories, made throughout the weekend. Dinner with our closest friends, a quiet family gathering and a 24 hour bout of food poising; each bearing their own gifts and blessings.

Countless quality conversations, moments of bonding and sharing, expressing our blessings, gathering over food and in the case of our food poisoning…countless cuddles and “According to Jim” episodes.

I caught myself many times throughout the weekend, re-counting my blessings in an effort to fully appreciate all I have been given; as if I hadn’t yet reached the cheery thanksgiving feeling, of fullness and content.

And as I stood pondering, my own words, spoken on my wedding day, rang clear. “While today is very special, exciting and memorable, it’s hard to top my everyday life. I am so incredibly happy and content; each day brings with it joy and anticipation; And truth be told, that feeling is hard to beat.”

And in that moment I smiled; My heart split open, even wider than before and I grabbed the hand of my wonderfully loving husband.

Life is full of struggles, hardships and at no time, are things ever perfect. But God provides in so many ways, its overwhelming. I can honestly say, I never knew such joy until I came to accept Christ as my saviour. And since that glorious day, he continues to inspire me, shape my being and mould my heart. God’s love is incredibly big, beautiful and all encompassing! And when I finally opened the door to His knock, that love floored my entire life, like an outpouring of grace and compassion.

“But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness”

Psalm 86:15

So, in that weekend of thanksgiving, yes I was grateful.
But I am so unbelievably grateful everyday and  “that feeling is hard to beat!”

ps: For a peek into our festivities, look HERE.