He has silenced me like a speechless child, overcome by a reality of her parents love.
A million miles a minute thoughts pour through my heart, yet not a word can form; only tears…
And they wash over me like a spring of hope, relief and security. Like a running refugee who just found shelter and news of safety, I savour new realities of who I am and whose I am… and what that tangibly means; what it affords me.
Where my mind once knew it, my heart now believes it: I’m His, through and through. I belong to God and he delights in me. He doesn’t just love me, he actually likes me!
And the same love that saved me, saves me again and again and it can keep me at peace in every moment.
… if I choose it.
Like the way I love my daughter relentlessly, unabashedly and ever increasingly and I’m not afraid to show it. I want her to know it in her heart and not just her head!
So I’m certain each day to sing praises and affirmation, regardless of what’s unfolded.
Because I want my words to speak life into every crevice of her being.
In doubt, in fear, shame and insecurity, I want my presence to be the love and safety that washes everything else away.
…. and I want her to be kept there.
… Her heart to stay there in every minute.
That’s exactly what God’s been doing and teaching me: that I too, can be kept at peace by his love. If I’ll receive it and choose to be kept there, than I can rest in every moment.
As I surrender my expectations and accept the present, whatever it looks like, he’s washed joy over me relentlessly.
As I’ve laid my heart out before him- confessing all in unbroken conversation– he’s placed unending rest and peace within me.
As I’ve forfeited my responsibility to make things happen- whether it’s to change, to do, or to correct- he’s left me dumbfounded as he’s made the impossible possible… how the puzzle pieces just fall into place.
I believed it impossible for most of my life- even my Christian life: that peace could be mine in every moment. And yet
As I’ve learnt to abide, He’s put a stop to my striving, anxiety, shame, fear and negative self talk.
He’s showed me the secret of the Christian life; the key to perfect peace.
To remain and stay connected in the presence of The Father.
To accept all that I am and all that I have in Christ, this moment.
To expect Jesus to do the work- all the work– of doing, changing, transforming and keeping [me and others].
To surrender to Jesus and to wait.
And as I’ve done that, my heart has been kept at perfect peace; at rest in every moment.
It’s mind boggling!
I watched as my husband carried and played with her; as he sung delight over her heart, unreserved in his affection. Never have I experienced such love before.
I longed for it my whole life, looking desperately in wrong places.
All the while, my Heavenly Father was waiting for me to run to him, so he could give me exactly that and more; so he could overwhelm me with his love and affection.
And I see it in the way she responds to our affection….
How our love affirms her as she receives it.
How it frees her as she realizes it.
How it transforms her as she experiences it.
How it keeps her as she remembers it.
And we’re far from perfect. How much more the Fathers love for us?
Because perfect love casts out fear; it binds up the broken heart, it sets us free, so that fully, in every moment, we can live at peace and rest in Him.
But we must first choose to abide in Christ.
Father God, I surrender myself this very moment to abide, wholly, only and always in Jesus. Thank you that you keep me there and hold me as your own; that each moment I meet you with my acceptance to abide, I am met with your immediate response: your favour, your forgiveness, your love and delight in me… the resulting peace and rest in every moment. I choose to abide in thee.