A Return to Love and Becoming my Own Soft Place to Land.

My current view feels like an omen :: flowing life force. A change in perspective. Soaring to new heights.

I feel myself expanding.

My soul is opening.

Our walls and harvest table are a testament to that : I leave paints and canvases and paper out, for whenever our hearts fancy

At first, it was for her- my joyful toddler, who spends hours at a time creating. But over the days and weeks, it’s become about me, also.

When my girlfriend asked what I wanted to do for my birthday. I told her, “Teach me to paint. Im sick of coffee shops and restaurants and sitting just talking.”

I’ve forever fancied her walls, adorned with personal sketches and paintings. But my C in High school art class told me, “No. It’s not for you. You’re not good enough.”

But my soul wanted it- it has for a lifetime. And I’m finally letting go- giving her permission to come out of hiding and paint for the joy of it.

No judgement, no shame, no expectations, I’m delighting in the pleasure of creating once again

And then the day came, when the risk to remain tight in a bud, was greater than the risk it took to bloom. – Anais Nin

Through the art of allowing and the gift of permission, I am taking what is rightfully mine: freedom, play, delight, joy, wholeness… LIFE abundant.

Filling my home with bows of fresh greens and red berries tied up with string.

Lighting an advent wreath-  the swoosh of a match stick- and lingering long enough to breath in it’s aroma.

Taking time- again and again- to choose the perfect scent.  1…2….3….4 drops of essential oil into a diffuser.

Five deep breaths to imprint the moment, and the benefits, on my mind and heart.

Letting music waft through my walls and speakers.Taking time to listen, appreciate and move to it’s rhythms, whether I’m in my kitchen cooking, doing yoga by myself, shaking off the energy or bopping with my toddler in the living room.

Sitting in silence. Focusing on the life moving inside me. Trusting that my words- and the world- can wait… until I’m full of Love and Peace and Reverence:  what I need to serve my people well.

Wearing threads, soft and feminine, that wrap me cozy and comfortable: pyjamas that make me feel beautiful.

Mundane routines like washing and cleansing, peppered with natural agents, luscious scents and kind, gentle attention. 

Reading the words of others-  sages and ancients and wisdom of old- allowing Love to shape my perception and reception.

Dreaming and longing for romance and travel and making room for it in my future. Calling it what it is:  Important and Set Apart- Nurishment for my soul and relationships.

Indulging – in that second cup of coffee, that day of shopping, too much tv, simply sitting- with zero guilt. Instead honouring as sacred space and shared time- with God, others and myself.

Smelling the coffee grinds before pouring in the water. 

Saying sorry. Forgiving old hurts. Re-inviting people to my table and my heart.

Allowing others to think different. Believe different. Trust different. And leaving it as OK. Welcoming them, even, as teachers-  not throwing the baby out with the bath water.

Listening to Body and giving her what she needs: water, food, rest, sleep, massage, movement, connection and release. All of it Holy and Good.

Allowing pleasure to ignite me and give my days meaning.

“I am living what I’ve secretly longed for….” I told my hair dresser. “The things I’ve dreamed about, saw in movies and envied in others simple, yet spacious choices.

The things I reserved for vacation and weekends only- I’m living them in my everyday. And my family is being remade by it. I’m coming alive,  more beautiful and radiant than before.”

She smiled knowingly.

“It sounds like you’ve befriended your soul again. You’re re-embracing what makes you feminine.”

Yes, I thought.

I am restoring, reawakening, redeeming what has been mine from the beginning – my sacred and feminine wholeness

I’m living my freedom to enjoy.

I’m delighting in my senses.

I’m letting pleasure lead me home.

You don’t have to fling yourself around the planet searching for those things outside yourself. You only have to go back into the stillness to locate it. The treasure you’ve been searching for so long was there all the time. – Shauna Niequest | Present Over Perfect

I’m reclaiming my innocence, my curiosity and my faith without borders.

I’m reconnecting with my soul: my love for movement and art, music and dance- the language of my body’s self expression.

I’m resurrecting self love, self acceptance, self reverence: my sensuality, my sexuality and feminine power.

And’m finding them in the silence- the stillness within. I need only to return – to myself; to breath with Love – the love that befriends and consumes and transforms.

Through this simple and sacred practice, I’m receiving every Good thing I’m longing for:

  • Kindness- for myself, then others.
  • Energy to live my life, heal my physical body and do the things my soul loves and dreams of.
  • Joy that becomes my life song.
  • Embodying my Feminine Wholeness.
  • A Return to Love- my very innocence.

I know it’s better here, here in the place of love.

I will rejoice not over monumental accomplishments, but rather microscopic improvements that are closing the gap between who I am today and the woman I want to become- my Truest Self.

Like showing up and starting over- again.

Waking early to give my soul space.

Signing up for the thing that scares me.

The well is within us. If we dig deeply in the present moment, the water will spring forth. – Rich That Hanh

This is my bridge, my pilgrimage to new awareness of Love- of God’s profound and wild and wondrous presence.

It is here that I will blossom and transform; once again become a soft and sacred place to land.

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One thought on “A Return to Love and Becoming my Own Soft Place to Land.

For a long time I felt unnoticed and longed for community- to find “my people.” You are it! Please know your presence here means something to me, so don’t be a stranger. I read every comment both on the blog and on social media and do my absolute best to respond to every one!

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