When you’re trying to free your fingers to fly

I had listened to the song a hundred times before, nearly every one ending in a puddle of tears. Visions of the last 16 months with my daughter would flash before my eyes and in mere minutes I’d remember, yet again, how fleeting this life is…

How precious every mundane ordinary moment is a first and a last.

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And how if I’m not careful, I’ll miss the good ones to the countless distractions I let steal my focus on far too many occasions: my phone, chores, worry, negative self talk, plans and projects.

As I sat on the floor with my legs tucked tight to my chest, I could hear the lyrics play through my mind. I ran my fingers over the keyboard and selected the song to play yet again, but this time, something different happened.

I realized the song was being sung to me. It was about me.

And in a brief moment, I realized it was my dad: my Abba Daddy, and how he’s been wanting me to hear these whispers for weeks.

Here’s to you
You were pink or blue
And everything I wanted

Had to crawl before you walked
Before you ran
Before I knew it
You were trying to free your fingers from my hand
‘Cause you could do it on your own now somehow

Won’t you stay here a minute more
I know you want to walk through the door
But it’s all too fast
Let’s make it last a little while
I pointed to the sky and now you wanna fly
I am your biggest fan
I hope you know I am
But do you think you can somehow
Slow down

Someday you’ll understand
You’ll hold a little hand
Ask them if they can

Slow down

– Nicole Nordeman | Slow Down

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While it thrills him to watch me learn and grow; while he delights in my desire to mature in him, it’s this vary moment he enjoys most. He’s not in a hurry to see it pass. He wants to make it last.

There’s a million more minutes to fly, but for right now, won’t I just stay a minute more.

When I’m itching to go, he just wants to grab my hand and slow down.

 

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2 thoughts on “When you’re trying to free your fingers to fly

  1. Found you on Jennie Allen’s village group, and subscribed to your blog so it now comes to my inbox. Thank you for this perspective. It truly resonates with me this week. I’ve been going- going-going, and also anxious to work through and get over some work God is doing in my life. So good to be reminded that He is enjoying the process, He is not anxious for mento get through a phase, as I sometimes am with my own children. Thanks for writing. Keep going.

    • Sincerely I thank you Becky for subscribing and for allowing my words a place in your day and your heart. It’s such a joy and a privilege I don’t take lightly, especially in this day and age. I can SO relate to wanting to “get things done for God,” and can find myself slipping back into glorifying busy over glorifying God. and Yet he is faithful to steer us back to that place of slow enough and yet quick enough to stay close to him and on the path he’s set before us. Running this race with you my friend.

For a long time I felt unnoticed and longed for community- to find “my people.” You are it! Please know your presence here means something to me, so don’t be a stranger. I read every comment both on the blog and on social media and do my absolute best to respond to every one!

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