Finding “Your People” and building community

For years I felt alone. Like I didn’t have “my people” or any true friends. Not to mention my roster of female friendships was lacking.

I could never quite put my finger on it, but was quick to say girls were simply judgemental and critical of each other.

It wasn’t until my twenties that God would bring me two fold into the most beautiful of communities and teach me what it takes to allow genuine friendship to blossom.

The key, I soon discovered, was vulnerability.

Like a marriage of it’s own, the bond of friendship is birthed through trial and brokenness.

In laying your ugly on the table, knowing she’ll still love you (and accept you) when the masks are removed.

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Truthfully, this was hard for me. I had spent my whole life trying to portray an image of having everything in my life, including me, wrapped up pretty and perfect. The last thing I cared for people to see, especially another women, was my weakness. The dark within myself that even I had tried to hide from.

It first took being able to look at myself in the mirror and own the junk I’d brushed beneath the rug and the pain I’d stuffed down deep… out loud and not pretend it wasn’t ugly. Then laying it at the feet of the only true healer, asking for forgiveness and begging that He would make me clean.

‘Cause when we experience grace for ourselves and come to know His mercy in brokeness, we’re able to extend that love and acceptance to others, just as he has done for us.

Slowly, I was able to start embracing my imperfections and living in the truth of my brokeness, without it defining me. And when I saw myself as He saw me, I could go to friends in honestly. I didn’t have to paint a pretty picture in fear of being rejected. I could rise above my circumstance and seek community in my suffering.

And the most beautiful thing happened….

As Marianne Williamson said,
As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Standing on his promises and living in the freedom and forgiveness he gives me- despite how far I have to go or rotten I am on the worst day-  I give others permission to do the same.

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Permission to believe God even when we doubt him.

…..When we feel pathetically unlovable and beyond hope.

…..When we think we’ve butchered the gospel or strangled the light that was within us.

…..When we think we can’t be Christians because our actions and tongue pierce hearts with hatred.

…..To know that when we seek him we will find him and when we confess, we are forgiven.

…..That we are washed completely clean and that are sins are removed as far as the east is from the west.

…..That because of Christ, not by anything we can or cannot do, we are Holy, blameless and beautiful in the eyes of God. Treasured, celebrared and passionately danced over. .. because of the gift Jesus gave us on the cross.
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How can this not move us to worship and dancing?!

How glorious and loving is our Father, slow to anger and quick to forgive. The ultimate and perfect example of love.

So, if you’re sitting there like I once was, longing for community, I dare you to do the impossible which is possible only with God.

Go before him and confess your darkness; The battles and scarlet wounds you’d rather hide.  Receive forgiveness from your Saviour, allowing his love and mercy in. And then live in that freedom.Walk in confidence of his love and share the power of his testimony.


Praying for you, my friend, that God would bring the right women who can speak into your life, and also women who need you and could use a your friendship.



One thought on “Finding “Your People” and building community

For a long time I felt unnoticed and longed for community- to find “my people.” You are it! Please know your presence here means something to me, so don’t be a stranger. I read every comment both on the blog and on social media and do my absolute best to respond to every one!

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