“There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock.”
What He feels is anything but near. Distance perhaps. Silent even. And if I’m honest with myself, deep down I worry He’s mad at me… left me to think about what I’ve done with a dunce cap on in the corner.
But I don’t know what.. what I’ve done.
It’s simply dark and eerily quiet.
I’ve called out and I’ve cried to Him. I’ve shared my worry, my fear and my frustration. I’ve even vented when I’m hurt and pleaded for heart change and desire to do His will. I’ve asked for wisdom and guidance – clarity for the next step.
But all purpose feels fleeting; all purpose that is, but waiting.
As I count my gifts, I scribble gratitude for the fact that I haven’t run. That I haven’t stopped praying, reading His word or counting all the ways He loves me- daily. #367, I counted this.
Because in truth, this baby Christian likes to feel and hear to know.
But if we’re honest with ourselves aren’t we all like that? Rather faith be akin to “seeing is believing” rather than a belief beyond what the eyes can see or the mind can comprehend.
My bible commentary reads, “We cannot comprehend God as He really is apart from Jesus Christ. We can only know Him by what he does and how he acts.”
Both of those present past.
Both require waiting.
“When my Glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand…. until I have passed by.”
Until He acts. Until He does, it’s bound to be dark.
In the nook of a rock, with His hand of protection hedging me in, darkness will surround me. His hand will muffle His voice and keep me from seeing.
In this reality, that same darkness and the quiet now comforts. An act of love, not neglect or anger.
“Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen.”
And in that moment, light will break forth, His Glory will shine and warm my face from the damp and dew that lingered.
Like the first sun break after the clouds roll away; a glimpse of summer coming, in the teasing spring days….
I will soon fully see and follow from behind, into the dawn of a new season gloriously full of beauty and riches beyond my winters comprehension.
But for now, I will wait, with summers taste on my tongue, trusting my Father [who loves me and knows what’s best ahead] to do what only He can do.
To go before me, preparing the way. A way… for me; purposefully planned and orchestrated.
And so I wait.
Passage Reference: Exodus 33: 21-23