Over and over the bible teaches what it means to abide in God. Over and Over I’ve brushed past it. Until last night.
To Abide: to wait on, to rest in, to simply be with The Lord.
Like a ton of bricks it hit me…
Do not let anyone rush you into anything. He said. You need this time to get to know me to prepare for what’s ahead.
I remember his words that were spoken over me last year and the not so gentle reminder he gave this past fall, as I retraced my dictation and wrote his words out again, placing them somewhere I’d see daily.
You see, this go getter likes to run a head. She most days feels jostled with a hunger to run and “take on.” Change has never sacred me. In fact I crave it.
The words of my mother still cut like a sword. “The queen of re-invention.”
But the truth of the matter is He made me this way, built restless and eager to sprint, for Him- to build and cast vision for his name sake.
Heavens, he’s showed me my future in many ways. I recount. I recount the ways he has.
But like Joseph, I’m so impatient. And immaturely wave the vision prematurely. It would be 25 years before he’d see his brothers bow before him.
And then theres Abram, oh Abram. My father indeed.. God promised him an heir of his own blood to take possession of his estate, despite his old age. In fact he promised him more descendents that the stars in the sky.
And then the chapter ends. 15. and rolls into 16….
Ten years have passed. TEN YEARS.. of what? I ask. Waiting? Oh gracious Lord help me.
Ten years of abiding before another word is penned in his story. And he is the Father of our faith?! What does that mean for my story.
My pride sulks and my ego feels bruised. This girl would rather cling to the notion that big is better and theres no time to sit on the sidelines. After all we have a race to run. People to save. A God to glorify.
Hush child. Just sit with me. And learn the rhythyms of grace. Give your heart time to catch up with your mind or your gifts will overtake you…. away from me.
Remember, salvation is a gift. Love is an overflow. No act of doing, achieving and winning will change that.
Oh, I know. really I do. I just sometimes get ahead of myself. It’s this restlessness you’ve put inside me. I never knew what it was before and I used it for all the wrong things. But you gave me it for you! For your namesake.
Indeed. But learn from your father Abram. 10 years may pass, but my promises are still good. Don’t run ahead and try to force my ways in your own strength. Your understanding is futile and small. You’ll see. What I have planned is way better than you could ever, ever imagine.
For now, lets simply sit together and be still. Draw close and let me love on you. I want you to see me for who I truly am, in the darkest of nights, away from the crowds, in the closet of your suffering and the boredom of ordinary.
This is where faith is tested and your character strengthened. Give me your threads and I promise to make a masterpiece.
and like a dazed child, I oblige, trusting what daddy says is best.