Rediscovering Food

For years, I had a love-hate relationship with food; It controlled my life, my thoughts and my habits. At seventeen, after years of living with anorexia, I sought help. And from that help, blossomed a genuine thirst for knowledge; knowledge about my body, how it worked and how the food I ate, affected  it. In the years following, my appreciation for the food that fuels my body flourished. I shared my experiences with many and helped introduce several, to a life of clean eating and moderation. (after all what fun is life, if you can’t indulge every once in a while.)

And while I slowly regained control, I still carefully watched how things were prepared and how much I chose to enjoy. This past year, it became evident that while food did not control my life, it still had a strong hold on me and I wasn’t appreciating it for all it was worth. I steered clear of new and fun recipes, unless there was a clean recipe somewhere to be found. And in that, I lost my desire to experiment with it, something I truly love to do. The mini-martha in me cries!

While on my honeymoon, I prayed that God would reveal to me any strongholds on my life and areas he wished for me to recognize and work on: food and the female body was first up! I spent many hours in prayer and reflection, asking God to remove my fears of “not looking perfect”, to bring about acceptance to embrace the body I’ve been given and re-ignite my love of food. For the first time ever, I saw the female body in all it’s splendid glory and enjoyed food (and drink) like never before in my life! While I knew this in the back of my head, food is truly one thing that brings us together; as friends, family and even, as strangers.

So, as I returned home, I vowed to keep sight of all that God had revealed and in that, re-explore the beauty of food. I promised to try new recipes, take time to prepare “real” meals, not just for dinner and prepare them with gratitude and love ; to join forces with my hubby and adventure together, in creating the perfect dish;  to make the extra effort to set the table, turn on the music and sit, to enjoy together.

Two weeks down and over a dozen meals in, I feel liberated. I am eager to keep going, challenge my skills and share the goodness I’ve created with others.  I’ll be sure to post my endeavors and if good, include the recipes. I hope it inspires the martha in you, even if a little.

Bon Appetite, Lovelies!


3 thoughts on “Rediscovering Food

  1. I appreciate your self-reflection and honesty! I can relate to your love-hate relationship with food and I too have struggled with wanting to have my body look a certain way. I LOVE to prepare beautiful sweets, especially for others to enjoy but detest preparing meals, particularly ones containing animal! I wish I was better at clean eating and could really enjoy a meal. All the best in your new found joy of cooking and eating. I would love to hear about your successful recipes:)

  2. Pingback: My Journey with Food | Seeking Grace

For a long time I felt unnoticed and longed for community- to find “my people.” You are it! Please know your presence here means something to me, so don’t be a stranger. I read every comment both on the blog and on social media and do my absolute best to respond to every one!

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